Sonic vs The Black Market
by Listie The Scribe Maid
Summary: A random little two-shot, poking fun at the Chao Garden and, more specifficaly, the Black Market
1. Sonic Adventure

**A/N: Based on a true story... Kind of... No, not really.**

_Sonic and the Black Market  
><em>_Part 1 of 2_

One day in Station Square, Sonic had just finished Final Egg. He was walking into the hotel when the manager spoke up.  
>"Remember, you have to pay the rent this month," the manager reminded Sonic.<br>"I thought it was next month!" Sonic exclaimed, eyeing the manager.  
>"No, it's THIS month."<br>"I thought you were part of the Chao Health Awareness Program," Sonic muttered. "I have six Chao to raise and your crap isn't helping."  
>"Really?" the manager looked shocked. "I joined that organization?"<br>"Yes, you did," Sonic murmured. "That means all the money I have goes towards raising my Chao until after they complete one life cycle."  
>The manager nodded sadly and pointed towards the elevator.<br>Sonic smirked as he entered the elevator. Once again, the phony organization he made up saved him from paying another rent.  
>On the top floor, Sonic walked into the Chao garden and all the animals he had collected flew out of him.<br>"AIR!" one bunny screamed, gasping for. "Damn, it stinks in there."  
>"Worst then being in that blasted robot, that's for sure," a gorilla agreed, brushing his coat.<br>"Hey, don't get to cocky," Sonic told the animals. "Remember, my Chao have to have you to absorb your powers."  
>"What?" the mole Sonic had gotten looked terrified.<br>"It's not painful," Kurt, a golden Neutral-Run Chao named after Kurt Cobain, told the mole. "All we do is hug you until your guts come out your mouth and slither down our throats into our stomach, which slowly digests whatever there is and then we rip you limb from limb to get your parts."  
>The mole wet himself.<br>"Hey! I just waxed that floor!" Sonic exclaimed. "That's it, your going first. AAF! Get over here!"  
>AAF, a Neutral-Neutral Chao named after the band Alien Ant Farm, crawled over and hugged the mole to death.<br>The scream the mole had was bloodcurdling, but it was over soon.  
>The animals were horrified.<br>"Who's next?" Sonic gleefully asked, turning around.  
>All the animals had escaped.<br>Sonic frowned. "Why does that happen EVERY SINGLE time?" he wondered aloud, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.  
>"Maybe you should stop letting Kurt tell them what happens," MJ, a Neutral-Swim Chao named after Michael Jackson, suggested.<br>"Ah, go back to your pool," Sonic grumbled, kicking MJ into the water.  
>Just then, Mr T, Sonic's Chaos-Chao-in-the-making, woke up.<br>"Ah, he's awake," Sonic sighed. "Better go get him a Hero Fruit."  
>Sonic ran into the Black Market, where he was greeted by Stanley, the owner of the market, and Chao-Fish-Man-Horse-*tongue noise*, Stanley's accomplice.<br>"Yeah, I'd like one-" Sonic began, but Stanley's raspy voice cut him off.  
>"I see you have 12,000 rings," he greedily rasped. His eyes, flicked up to meet Sonic's. Stanley took a Golden-Brown out from under the counterbox and said,"Hows about you take this here egg for, say, 2000?"  
>"Uh, no," Sonic said slowly. "I just need a Hero Fruit for my Chao, Mr T."<br>"But don't you know it's illegal to have less then 7 Chao?" Stanley asked in a deceiving voice.  
>"I've read all book on Chao Law," Sonic countered. "I should know if there are any laws about having more then 7 Chao."<br>Stanley blinked. "This new law was just passed," he said sweetly.  
>"Really?" Sonic still wasn't buying it. "Lemme see the new book on Chao Law."<br>Stanley nodded, picked up a book and marker, scribbled something on the front of the book and handed it to Sonic.  
>The front of the book read: <em>Chao Law Vol. 7<em>, with the number "2" crossed out.  
>"Nice try," Sonic muttered, tossing the book back at Stanley. "Now, my Hero Fruit?"<br>Stanley was dumbstruck, but he handed over the Fruit. Sonic handed back 12 rings.  
>"It's 120," Stanley laughed.<br>This time, SONIC was dumbstruck. "I can buy this thing down at the store for 12 rings!" he exclaimed. "Why does it cost ten times more HERE?"  
>"Life isn't cheap," Stanley said plainly.<br>Sonic growled and handed over the rings. Stanley snatched them from Sonic's hand and had C.F.M.H.*t.n.* count the rings up.  
>Stanley waved his hand to signal that Sonic could leave.<br>Sonic ran outside with the Fruit and fed it to Mr T.  
>"'Bout time!" Mr T said in his high, nasally voice. "What was going on in there?"<br>"Stanley was trying to con me out of 2000 rings again," Sonic explained. "Does he ever give up? In fact, why am I even USING the Black Market?"  
>"Beats me," Mr T shrugged and continued to eat his fruit.<br>Sonic nodded and went to sit down near the Chao Transporter. Selena, a Hero-Run Chao named after Selena Gomez, then came over and sat down next to Sonic.  
>"More troubles with the market, eh?" Selena enquired.<br>"You betcha," Sonic sighed, rubbing the back of his head.  
>"Why don't you call the police on him?" Selena suggested, motioning towards the emergency phone near the Transporter.<br>"Nah. He has a contract with the owner," Sonic told Selena.  
>"Well... Uh..." Selena thought for a moment. "Yeah, there's not getting rid off him."<br>"Well, until they start development on Sonic Adventure 2," Sonic admitted.  
>"Exactly," Selena said cheerfully.<p>

**A/N: Yeah... Just a random two-shot I wanted to make... And an extremely random one at that.**


	2. Sonic Adventure 2

**A/N: In case you're wondering, the Chao in the first part are based off of my actual Chao. Just to let you know.**

It was late 2000. Sonic Adventure 2 had been released and everybody was happy (until exactly 4 months later when Sonic Adventure 2: Battle was released). Sonic had just completed all his missions in the game with all A-ranks, but had not visited the Chao Garden once. So he decided to go there.  
>Sonic was racing through City Escape, collecting animals and Chaos Drives so he could level up his Chao.<br>He was up to the giant truck part.  
>"Why are you doing this?" Sonic shouted at the truck driver, rounding a 90-degree turn.<br>"G.U.N. ain't taking your crap anymore!" the driver shouted back, stepping on the gas.  
>Sonic chuckled. He had gotten the exact same response the first time he had run through the stage. Thank god for Tails's Time-Turner-9000.<br>Sonic looked behind him to check the truck's progress. It was about 9 inches behind him, so Sonic picked up his speed a little.  
>Just then, Sonic realised two objects were also trying to escape the truck's wrath: a Sonic-the-Hedgehog-clone and a guy on a motorcycle.<br>"Hey! Who are you two?" Sonic asked the two, running up beside them.  
>"I'm just trying to save the future!" the biker shouted, before his bike was sucked back towards the truck and exploded.<br>Both Sonic and the clone stared back.  
>"Who are you?" Sonic asked the clone, completely ignoring the explosion that just happened.<br>"An unoriginal OC," the clone replied  
>"The heck you are!" Sonic exclaimed, punching the clone in the face, causing it to trip and get run-over by the truck. Sonic turned his head back to see what happened and only quietly commented, "No more 'Mix-ups' for me," using air-quotes when he said "Mix-ups" (also hinting disgust on the word).<br>Not more then 3 seconds later, did Sonic outrun the truck and hit the goal ring. Sonic did his little victory pose and waited to be transported to Chao World.  
>A bright light engulfed our hero and sent on to Chao World.<br>After the light faded, Sonic found himself standing in the lobby of Chao World.  
>"Woah!" Sonic was taken aback when he saw where he was. "Am I lost in space? I mean, no, that's stupid. If I was lost in space, I'd see spiders."<br>Sonic ran through the lobby and into the Chao Garden. Once there, he walked up to the Chao Transporter and unloaded his Chao from Sonic Adventure.  
>"This place is a dump," Prince, a Dark-power Chao named after "The-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-the-Artist-Formally-Known-as-Prince," blurted out when he saw the garden.<br>"What's so wrong?" Selena asked, crossing her arms "This place looks nice enough to support six Chao and a Hedgehog."  
>"It looks like crap," Prince growled, walking away. He tripped.<br>"Fail," Kurt muttered under his breath.  
>Sonic scanned the place, then realized something. "There's a Hero and a Villain side, so that means, to make a Neutral Chao, both sides have to visit," he told himself. "Might as well call somebody up to help me with this thing<br>Sonic went behind the Chao Transporter and found an old payphone. He deposited 25 cents and called up Shadow.  
>Sonic waited for a few seconds, then remembered he was dead. So he called Rouge, but she was away doing something.<br>Sonic sighed and called Eggman. No luck there, either.  
>So Sonic called up the last person he could count on: Darth Vader. But then Sonic realized that, for one thing, he didn't exist and, for another, he was dead. So Sonic had no hope of making a Neutral Chao.<br>But then Sonic remembered he could feed the f-er Hero and Dark fruit to keep their side Neutral, so the above paragraph was entirely pointless. (Like all of dragon19kyoshi's stories).  
>So Sonic decided to give the Chao their crap.<br>He gave the Chao the correct animals and proceeded to hand out the Chaos Drives.  
>The Chao lined up for no real reason, with Prince in front.<br>Sonic picked out a red Drive and gave it to Prince.  
>Prince, being incredibly strong, broke it like a twig and drank its insides.<br>Long story short, he got Radiation Poisoning.  
>"Hmm... We could just say a criminal did it," MJ suggested while Sonic and the Chao were looking over prince.<br>"Let me guess... A SMOOTH criminal?" Sonic questioned rudely.  
>"Yes," MJ murmured before moonwalking off (Beat It played while he did it).<br>Sonic didn't really want Prince to die, so he decided to go check out the store to see if they had any medicine. Or at least a doctor.  
>Sonic exited the Garden, crossed the Lobby and entered the door that led him to the Kindergarten.<br>When he arrived, he noted the place was well made. There was a doctor (when Sonic noticed it, he ran back to the Chao Garden, grabbed Prince, ran back and gave Prince to the doctor), a principal that gave advice, a fortune teller that gave names and a classroom where you could lose your Chao for 15-20 minutes.  
>Then Sonic noticed this: There was a Black Market.<br>"WHAT IN THE NAME OF GRAMBI IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Sonic screamed at the principal.  
>"What are you talking about? And why did you suddenly appear in my office for no exact reason other then the convenience found by the author of this pitiful little tale?" the principal enquired.<br>"One, the Black Market and two, I have no idea."  
>"Well, for the Black Market, he made me sign a contract when he heard this was going to be everything that was in the Station Square Chao Garden and more," the principal explained.<br>"Don't you know that selling things on the Black Market is, um, ILLEGAL?" Sonic emphasised the last word.  
>"No. No I did not," the principal shrugged.<br>Sonic did a facepalm and ran back to his Chao Garden and dialled 911.  
>"Yes, I'd like the Police," he said into the phone.<br>Three seconds later, the chief of Chao Police was speaking and, after a long conversation about how MJ was doing, Sonic told him about the Black Market.  
>"Really? That's in this game?" the chief sounded surprised.<br>"Yes and it's sending a bad message to kids!" Sonic told the chief.  
>"Well... We can't do anything about that..."<br>"Why not?"  
>"They have us signed up for a ten-month contract."<br>Sonic's jaw hit the ground so hard, it left an imprint. "ARE YOU $&$%&$#&$ _SERIOUS_?"  
>"Yes," the chief squeaked.<br>Sonic slammed the phone back down and muttered something about being cheap.  
>But, Sonic had to take this into consideration. So he did.<br>"The Black Market does do some good right?" Sonic asked Tails. "It may be sending a bad message to kids, but it does do good, right?"  
>"Yeah, I guess," Tails replied, looking mighty surprised. He was working on a new device when Sonic instantly warped into his workshop.<br>"There's no stores in Chao World, I guess it kind of makes sense to have the Black Market," Sonic observed.  
>"That's actually a good point," Tails agreed, turning away from his device. "Besides, you know it's the only place you can get rare items, correct?"<br>"Correct."  
>"And it's open 247, unlike Tom Nook's shop."  
>"Yeah. I hate that little bugger."<br>"So, really, the Black Market is useful."  
>"It is?"<br>"Duh."  
>Sonic got up, thanked Tails and warped back to Chao World to stop the feud that had started at the beginning of this two-shot.<br>"Look, Stanley, we should end this feud," Sonic told the shop-owner.  
>"Really?" Stanley looked pleased with Sonic's statement.<br>"Yeah," Sonic looked half-concerned with Stanley's pleased look. "So, we start over?"  
>"So I should reset your Shopper's Point, right?"<br>"Heck no!" Sonic exclaimed. The two started at each other for a while, until Sonic asked, "Can I have a Hero Fruit?"  
>"Certainly," Stanley responded, pulling one up.<br>"How much do I owe you?" Sonic whipped out his brand-new wallet and was ready to pay the high price.  
>"Your tickets to Video Games Live."<br>Sonic slapped Stanley, walked out and whipped out his brand-new laptop. "Thanked god for eBay!" he grumbled.

**A/N: I had to make a Video Games Live reference because I got to see them on Friday April 29****th****, 2011, and they were amazing. They played Civilization IV, a Halo montage, the Castlevania Rock Overture and even Final Fantasy VI - One Winged Angel. But the best part was the Mega Man Montage. But enough advertising. Thank you for reading my first EVER completed fiction.**


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